Fri Aug 29, 2008 - Tonight it is the battle of the mariachi suits at Alex's Bar with El Bronx in their mariachi version and Los Mysteriosos to start off Labor Day weekend with the blast of a trumpet.

Tonight is El Bronx, Red Exiles, Los Mysteriosos, Slang Chickens - $10 at the door

And tomorrow night: The Bronx (in regular form), Toys That Kill, Stab City, Pistolero - $10 - Buy your advance tickets here!

Alex's Bar
2913 E. Anaheim St.
(Next to the Auto Zone, entrance in the back)
Long Beach, CA 90804
562-434-8292

Wed 08.27.08 - Photo taken at Alex's Bar by Ms. Jen with her Nokia N95.

Tonight, Wed. Aug. 27, 2008, Mad Juana is playing at Alex's Bar with the Harbortown Saints and it is a show not to be missed.

Mad Juana is a fabulous new band out of New York City fronted by Sam Yaffia (Hanoi Rocks & New York Dolls) and his wife Carmen Guy. Musically think Squirrel Nut Zippers on a mad gypsy tear through New Orleans on speed. Excellent, I tell you, excellent.

This is a show not to be missed.

Mad Juana, Harbortown Saints, and the Lost Captains at
Alex's Bar, 2913 E. Anaheim St, Long Beach, CA 90804

Buy your tickets here.

Mon 08.18.08 - ... to one of Alex's rants... ;o)

(It *might* be time for Alex to vacuum... Just maybe.)

Photo taken by Ms. Jen with her Nokia N95.

Jackie: So, tell me about Sunday night...what was the band like?

Alex: Dude...

Jen: Why did you like them? What was interesting?

(silence)

Jackie: We're forcing you to blog

Alex: I hate being forced to blog....Fucking, they are kick ass garage rock 101.

Jackie: Who the Beat Killers?

Alex: Like Love meets the Sonics meets....just solid musicianship. The rhythm section was fucking great. Oh the Beat Killers....kickass garage rock and roll. What's his face, the lead singer from the Red Onions fronting it. He kept saying to the crowd "What you paid $5 to sit down?" His vocal assault on the audience was awesome. Totally called them out for sitting down. He had a good lyric too, ah, what was it....I wish they had some music recorded.

The new school year is upon us and what better way to start the year off than a Beer Tasting. Join us September 4th at 7pm, and for a mere $15 you can enjoy some of the best Craft Beers on the market today. We'll even throw in the free pizza.

Here is a list of the beers you will get to sample:

1. 1. Abita Purple Haze is a crisp, American style wheat beer with raspberry puree added after filtration. Therefore, you may see raspberry pulp in the beer. The raspberries provide the lager with a subtle purple coloration and haze, a fruity aroma, and a tartly sweet taste.
2. 2. Dixie Blackened Voodoo - Characteristics: Dark reddish-brown color, decent head (quickly receding), light body that allows for some translucency, medium carbonation that underscores an intriguing battle between dry hops and sweet malts that continues all the way down.
3. 3. Green Flash Imperial IPA Imperial India Pale Ale San Diego-style IPA, as it has come to be known by many, is super-hoppy, high gravity, yet highly quaffable ale. Our Imperial IPA is created in this new tradition with intense hop flavors and aromas from a unique blend of Summit and Nugget hops. It's all about the hops!
4. 4. Lost Coast Downtown Brown - A dark brown ale with hints of brilliant mahogany hues; a definite coffee/chocolate characteristic in the nose and flavors; a mellow ale for a comfortable mood.
5. 5. Old Rasputin - A rich, intense brew with a robust palate, a fruity nose and a warming finish. Very complex.
6. 6. Grimbergen Dubbel - An abbey beer, Burgundy in color, very full bitter-sweet flavor with hints of caramel.
7. 7. Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse a wheat beer brewed exclusively from alpine water, malt, yeast and hops according to the Bavarian Purity law of 1516. This top fermented unfiltered Wheat beer has a natural cloudy appearance. A crisp, distinctive tase with a hint of clove.
8. 8. And a Beer To Be Announced

Sun 08.10.08 - Video captured by Jen Hanen at Alex's Bar with her Nokia N95 during the finale of Los Mysteriosos' last song of their set, "El Matador". Sorry that the video is a wee bit dark, but there is very little light and the wonder mobile phone can only do so much. ;o)

Great show. Los Mysteriosos and Manic Hispanic both played excellent sets and had the house in the palm of their respective hands/guitars.

Sun 08.10.08 - Photo of Gus taken at Alex's Bar by Ms. Jen with her Nokia N95.

This little article is taken from Modern Drunkard Magazine. If you haven't ever read an issue before, we here at Alex's Bar suggest you pick one up...it makes great bathroom reading material.

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.

2. Always toast before doing a shot.

3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.

4. Change your toast at least once a month.

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.

10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.

11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I'm going to get drunk. I hate shots. It's coming back up.

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.

14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.

16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.

17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.

18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.

19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.

20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.

21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.

22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing--urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.

26. If there is a d.j., you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it within half an hour, do not approach him again. If he does play it, do not approach him again.

27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.

28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.

29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.

30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.

32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the bottle goes for less than $25.

33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.

34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.

35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.

36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender's guide and browse through all the drinks you've never tried.

37. Try one new drink each week.

38. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him.

39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.

40. If you have ever told a bartender, "Hey, it all spends the same," then you are a cheap ass.

41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.

42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.

43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.

44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.

45. It's okay to drink alone.

46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her "baby" or "darling".

47. Nothing screams 'nancy boy' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.

48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser.

49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.

50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.

51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.

52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.

53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.

54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.

55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

56. Screaming, "Someone buy me a drink!" has never worked.

57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.

58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.

59. If you are broke and a friend is "sporting you", you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.

60. If you are broke and a friend is "making sport of you", you may steal any drink he leaves unattended.

61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.

62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.

63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.

64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.

65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.

66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot."

67. Never ask a bartender "what's good tonight?" They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.

68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.

69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.

71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.

72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they're sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.

73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.

74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.

75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.

76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.

77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with "I know this is going to be a hassle, but . . ."

78. When you're in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a fat lip. Unless he's buying.

79. If you are 86'd, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it appear no other bar wants you.

80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.

81. If you're going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It's the no-tell liquor.

82. There's nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you're supposed to be at work.

83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.

84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there's something in it.

85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.

86. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.

--Frank Kelly Rich

Sat 08.09.08 - Photo taken at Punk Rock Social Club by Ms. Jen with her Nokia N95 camera phone.

Here you are an adult now. But what song from your teen years informs your musical taste now? The song that every so often you sing to yourself much to the bewilderment of the folks around you?

That song for me is Channel 3's "Manzanar". I first heard it in when I was 15, now more than a bit later, I still sing it.

Channel 3 is playing at Alex's tonight with Shattered Faith and the Krum Bums for Punk Rock Social Club.

Come on down to the show tonight, find me (Ms. Jen), and tell me what my favorite song is from my teen years and I will make sure you are on the guest list for tomorrow night's Manic Hispanic show. First come, first served. The second and third person to find me will win fun schwag.

If you don't mind, I would like to start my blogging career with a quote that I heard from a very wise man recently that goes something like this, "Blogging is like video taping yourself jacking off into a mirror only to watch the recording later so you can jack off to it again." I'm paraphrasing of course but that was the gist of it. So with that in mind, just know we all have thoughts, opinions and bad hair days.

I have been nudged to address the recent negative reviews of the service of the last Secret Affair night. You know, the usual "I can't get a drink fast enough" rant? I would like to form a rebuttal, not necessarily as a counter attack but as an insight to what happens on The Other Side Of The Bar.

On this specific night what you may not realize is that a giant portion of you roll in at about 11pm, and I mean a giant portion. We are pretty much counting the holes in the ceiling until we are suddenly bombarded with tons of drink orders at once which, once it's starts, is almost impossible to catch up to. No matter how much we prepare, it's still a sudden burst of tight pants and mustaches in our faces. Point number two (and I will try to be quick) is that you may want ask yourself if maybe, just maybe, the reason it could be a little harder to quench your thirst right now, besides the hundreds of people trying to order simultaneously, is you. That's right, I said it. I get so many orders that go exactly like this: "yeah ummm, Kaiget.." (by the way that's a word you all invented in place of "Can I get" = Kaiget.) two redheaded sluts, one kamakazi, two shots of Patron chilled, a Long Island and a Bloody Mary?" Right there... if the guy in front of you was ordering that... pull up a chair and grab a newspaper. I'm not telling you all to drink Pabst tall cans but I think once you get older (sorry to pull the age card.) you might realize that when it's ass to face busy you might want to simplify. That way everyone wins. Stick to the basics. I understand your lady and her friends want lemon drop martinis but martini bars don't usually deal with 200 people at a time.

What I am really trying to say is that it's a team effort to get us all into that same boat of blissful inebriation and validity. So picture this situation: I just finished an order and I look up to see who's next. I see (one) an aggravated customer who didn't really tip the last time I served them and (two) a silent guy with his money out and a smile on his face. Who am I gonna choose? Bottom line... if you scratch my back I will pour whiskey all over yours.

As a nightcap to this blog and coke I just want to ask... Where else have you been where there is one bar, approximately 200 people, great music, stiff drinks, and you haven't had to wait just a little bit longer for your beverage? I say if you can't handle the heat drink in your own kitchen. Plus the promoting of bringing flasks is really going to bite you in your american apparelled ass in the end. I'm just sayin'. 9 times out of ten we know what you're doing before you do it. So leave your cans of Busch and flasks at home because we don't serve either and you will get rolled.

On a lighter note don't miss Mr. Mister Miyagi on August 16th.

Pieces

Mobile video taken by Ms. Jen on Fri. 08.08.08.

Hernandez: What is Hanen and Ojeda thinking? Showing up at the Hernandez cave when I'm obviously dying of fucking shots of [slurring as he is dictating this] Crown Royal....

Hanen: What time did you go to bed?

Hernandez:: 4am. Trying to teach me how to blog when I'm hungover? BOO. I blog in your general direction.

Photo by Ms. Jen with her Nokia N95 at Punk Rock Bowling 2008.

Yes, Manic Hispanic, SoCal's premier tongue-planted-firmly-in-cheek ranchero punk band, is playing Alex's Bar this Sunday, August 10th with Los Mysteriosos, who will be in full mariachi! !

This show is not to be missed! Who will win this sartorial contest? We will be giving away a pair of ticket through a fun "treasure" hunt this Saturday. Watch the Alex's Bar blog for the information on how to win!

Mon. 08.04.08 - Just when you thought it was safe to book your band at Alex's Bar... Jackie 'Napolean' Ojeda!

Photo taken by Ms. Jen with her Nokia N95 on Sunday, August 3, 2008.

While it was quite hot outside, inside Alex's it was cool and lovely this afternoon. Jesse was presiding over the bar and nachos set up, while Eliese was filling in for BBQ Jeff in the pation BBQ'ing up some chicken.

Alex's Bar has a BBQ every Sunday afternoon from 2-5pm! Come on down and join us.

Photo taken by Ms. Jen with her Nokia N95 camera phone.

Sat. 08.02.08 - Upon leaving Alex's Bar's parking lot last night, I saw at least 50 bicycles locked up on the railing at the back of the parking lot with more folks arriving by the minute, either by cab or by bike. In all my years of going to Alex's, I have seen multiple cabs, a few bicycles, and a few motorcycles show up, but mostly cars.

I applaud all the folks who came to last nights' Secret Affair DJ Night via bicycle! Save $$ on gas, save on pollution, AND work off the drinks one buys! Smart folks.

On another note: The Secret Affair DJs were spinning the best set of music that I have heard in a long time. Make sure you check them out the first Friday of every month at Alex's.

After a long haitus and a chat between myself (Ms. Jen), Alex, and Jackie O, we have decided to resurrect this space / blog / news / photo section of the website and start blogging to it regularly.

We will be blogging about upcoming shows, bands we thing are exciting, photos, and other various bits about Alex's Bar.

For the next 31 days I will be posting every day here as a part of the NaBloPoMo August HOT challenge, so I will most likely be posting about hot bands, hot djs, hot music, and how hot it is in the Bar.

If you have any suggestions on what I should be blogging about, make a comment below.

We will also be running a few contests where you can will either some Bar merch or tickets to an upcoming show, so watch this blog for the announcements on what you can do to win.

;o)